MOTHER MARY COMES TO ME written by Arundhati Roy. A book review.

A book that depicts the extremely peculiar and complicated relationship between a mother and her daughter. There is little genuine love , or the relationship is problematic, as the mother always displays a reverse reaction. Always malicious reactions, which seem to shape the child's character wonderfully into a strong personality and which later also teach her to understand that distant attitude, (sometimes incomprehensibly sadistic, in my opinion).

Meanwhile, we learn a lot about the development of a young woman in extremely difficult circumstances, her relationship with her brother and with her mother, whom she avoids, but whose perseverance she nevertheless admires.

We learn a great deal about Indian society, the complicated social norms that place women at an extreme disadvantage, who are seen as available prey, which her mother solves at her school by confronting boys with bras at an early age. We can guess what she tells them, but in any case it teaches the boys to respect women.

She herself works hard and is part of that peculiar discrimination against women, which means that her parents' house goes to her uncle, who then throws her mother out. Only with an iron will does she manage to move on.

Her mother then campaigns for a long time to change the inheritance law in India so that all children can inherit and girls are not excluded. She stands up for women's rights in general, teaches children the simplest things such as how to wash properly, sets up a school, and thus brings progress to the whole of society. She herself belonged to a Christian Syrian sect, a somewhat different perspective in Indian society, which apparently encourages greater independence and respect for all.

Her father is a carefree man without much stability, which she does not criticise. He is who he is. She is her husband's equal. 

The author herself is very free-spirited, marries, divorces and lives as she pleases, becomes an architect, without too many hang-ups. She is very aware of the injustice in that disrupted society, where there is an enormous struggle between Muslims who are being massacred by Modi's Hindu supporters. She herself visits a Maoist-Communist group in the jungles for a while, to compensate for that inequality, and therefore sympathises with them.

Does she hope to find the solution there?

It is also a book that simultaneously addresses deep injustice and inequality and calls for resistance and propagates courage, although the author is less of a victim of this as she belonged to a higher caste, even though she herself is poor. Once a successful screenwriter, filmmaker and writer, she distributes her excess earnings to others. (€1 million for her books. She finds that grotesque. The farewell to her mother, now old and well cared for by social contacts, also takes us down familiar paths. As does the outcome of her death. Nothing human is alien to us.

The book promotes understanding for people who are completely different from oneself (e.g. her father) and does not judge. People are as they are. 

The story takes place all over India, but mainly in Kerala: the south. We learn that everything that is evil is happening on an ever-increasing scale in Kashmir, which is shared by India and Pakistan. A sensitive place.

An interesting book, but somewhat disorderly and chaotic, like the country itself. Apart from character descriptions, it is not a book with a plot, but rather an examination of a contemporary culture and attitude that is foreign to us, yet still has ties to the Western world.

Is this due to Syrian Christian influences? 

©️ Gabriëlla Cleuren